I know how to make pizza not quite from scratch

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein) 01/02/2018 at 18:19 • Filed to: Fit guy in a little kitchen

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One of the “benefits” of my sister-in-law changing the Secret Santa on my wife’s side of the family to Secret 3-item $50 price limit wish list fulfillment is I get stuff for Secret Santa that I actually want, even if it’s a pain in the ass to think of things I want. This year I got a pizza stone.

I complain about the stupid Secret Santa wishlisting mostly because it takes me forever to think of 3 items of $50 or less that I want some random in-law to buy for me, but hey at least this year I picked good stuff including the aforementioned pizza stone and also a nice !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

A pizza stone is literally just a stone or tile or similar item that you put on your oven rack and let heat up really hot, to simulate real deck oven like a pizza joint would use.

My wife caught a bad cold the end of last week so we stayed in for New Year’s, which is fine because I kinda despise New Year’s Eve parties anyway. I took the opportunity to break out the pizza stone, but I didn’t want to make dough from scratch.

Fun fact: you can buy frozen pizza dough at most grocery stores that will give you a Real Pizza Experience with a little work. My local Hy-Vee grocery store had not one but three varieties of frozen pizza dough for the low low price of $1.99 each, so I bought one of each of them.

The main things to set up the process of using a pizza stone and frozen dough are:

Let the dough defrost for a sufficient amount of time.

Place your pizza stone on the middle oven rack, preheat the oven to 500 (or whatever the maximum temperature setting is), and let the pizza stone hang out in there for a while.

Locate any smoke detectors near your kitchen that tend to get set off by smoky cooking and place a fan underneath them.

Assemble your pizza, ideally on a pizza peel, but you can also use a floured cutting board and spatulas to help move things along.

Bake the pizza for about 8-10 minutes.

Eat the pizza!

I used the garlic & herb dough, because why not? I got a jar of pizza sauce from some local company here in Madison. The toppings are roasted red peppers from a jar, sauteed mushrooms (fun fact #2: don’t put raw veggies on a pizza, cook them first, they’ll be better!), and black olives cut lengthwise because that’s prettier. I used my mad tyte knife skillz to chiffonade some basil which I topped the pizza with after taking it out of the oven.

Overall I was happy with the results, including the crust which was pillowy on the inside but nice and crispy and crunchy on the bottom, as the pizza gods intended.

I also learned a couple things:

This particular frozen dough rises a lot when baking. I only kneaded it because I didn’t want to try the pizzeria pizza dough toss, but it needs more stretching than I achieved with kneading.

I used !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! which melts surprisingly realistically but the taste and texture is a little weird . It didn’t entirely ruin the pizza but I will continue to research other cheese alternatives.

It sure made for a purty picture though.

TahoeSTi > Textured Soy Protein 01/02/2018 at 18:37

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The vegan cheese has never worked out for me, I have a few friends that don’t eat cheese and tried to accommodate when possible....I’ll have to try that brand.

I usually make dough every week and just keep in in the fridge for 7 days or so, then I can make fresh pizza whenever. This was handy this weekend for late night pizza after we got back from a concert.

6 cups flour, 2 1/4 cup warm water (100degrees), 1 Tbsp Sugar, 1 teaspoon salt, 2 teaspoons yeast. Put it all in a stand mixer with dough hook, or food processor with dough blade then let it rise. Should make 6 12-14" pizzas.

If you doing this for an oven over 500 degrees (woodfired) I skip the sugar, and use cold water, then let it rise overnight before putting it in the refrigerator.

Maybe I like pizza too much but I don’t think that’s a think.....and there is no good pizza anywhere near my house so I’ve just resorted to making it.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Textured Soy Protein 01/02/2018 at 18:40

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I’ve found it REALLY hard to find good grocery store pizza dough here in California. I used to make pizza all the time back in NJ since shoprite carried a couple of different fresh or frozen doughs that worked perfectly. Now I have been trying to learn to use yeast and make my own but I havent been that happy with the texture. I might try some different yeast since I like a chewy, doughy crust instead of a crispy light one that seems to come out. In general this has been my complaint about local pizza in California, the dough just isnt quite right.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > TahoeSTi 01/02/2018 at 18:43

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Stand mixer and/or food processor seems to be helpful in that. I havent been all that happy with my custom pizzas so far. I have made many pizzas but always with store bought dough. I think the yeast I am using and putting it together by hand is making it somewhat more difficult.

TahoeSTi > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 01/02/2018 at 18:46

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I used to do it by hand but after trying that every week.... i knew the food processor would pay for its self still have the same one 10 years later...by had is a PITA compared to just pushing a button.

Die-Trying > Textured Soy Protein 01/02/2018 at 18:47

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nermal > Textured Soy Protein 01/02/2018 at 18:47

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Making pizza dough from scratch is surprisingly easy, and I find that it tastes much, much better than the premade stuff. You just need to start it earlier to allow a bit of time for it to rise.

As far as vegan cheese - It sounds like a good idea, but will only lead to disappointment.

TahoeSTi > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 01/02/2018 at 18:48

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If you like chewy dough it’s all about the Gluten, you have to kneed it more and let it rise slowly, Also I recommend letting it rise in the refrigerator at least 24 hours before use. I just use the Red Star Yeast at costco they sell 2 lbs for like $5 way cheaper than any packets.

Textured Soy Protein > TahoeSTi 01/02/2018 at 18:57

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I don’t eat pizza quite frequently enough to justify a perpetual ready-made dough supply.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > TahoeSTi 01/02/2018 at 18:58

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Wow thats super cheap for yeast! I think I paid like $5 for a half dozen of those little packets and that did not last long. So much time for rising dough... Its expected I suppose but I have gotten used to my pressure cooker making everything else come out magically fast.

TahoeSTi > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 01/02/2018 at 19:01

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haha yeah, I normally let it rise at room temp for 24 hours, then let it rest in the refrigerator for 48 hours. then it’s ready....but after that pizza is ready in 10-15 min......and faster if your cooking with fire (750-900degrees)!

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > TahoeSTi 01/02/2018 at 19:06

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When I own a home some day, I really want to build a pizza oven in the backyard. I wonder if those are illegal somehow in California though. Im sure they are “known by the state of california to cause cancer and birth defects”

Textured Soy Protein > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 01/02/2018 at 19:13

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I was happy with the HyVee dough, but I’ll be happier with it next time when I give it a toss.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Textured Soy Protein 01/02/2018 at 19:14

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I think vegan cheese needs it’s own term since it seems like an oxymoron.

EDIT: after further consideration, unless vegans strictly can’t eat cheese because of health reasons (i.e. lactose intolerance) I think they should man the fuck up and eat real cheese.

However, if you want great pizza dough, here’s my recipe (which has already been halved from the original). Like any good baker, I have the recipe by weight, not by volume, and in grams, not in ounces.

460g flour (I use all purpose, but I suppose you can use bread flour or a mix, I don’t think I’ve ever done a 100% bread flour mix)

27.5g olive oil

7,5g sugar

8.5-12.5g salt (I generally put it towards the higher end - it’s supposed to control yeast rising as opposed to taste)

5g yeast (I prefer to use the dry yeast you can add directly to the ingredients instead of the stuff you add to water first - if you use the latter, your guess is as good as mine as to how much you need)

312.5g water

Put it into a container and let it rise - I typically let it go around two hours.

You can mix in dry herbs as well - I use this same dough mix with herbes de Provence to make foccacia.

At this point, you can just put it in the fridge and use it periodically.

I did type up a great explanation of how to quickly cook it from here, but use the measurements I’ve given and use this cooking process narrated by the one and only Gordon “It’s FUCKING RAW” Ramsay:

This sounds like a lot of work - once you’ve finished your pizza, you will realize that that’s because it was a lot of fucking work to make everything from scratch. The satisfaction, though, is unparalleled, and is definitely better than some major chains (although they can do it a lot cheaper and quicker). There’s nothing quite like a pizza with your exact specifications.

Textured Soy Protein > TahoeSTi 01/02/2018 at 19:14

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Oh also this vegan cheese did in fact melt but I’d grade it about a C+ as far as approximating real cheese.

TahoeSTi > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 01/02/2018 at 19:17

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They are legal, my mom has one in CA, I have one in NV.

Mines on wheels so I can move it in in the winters when we have big storms.

Textured Soy Protein > nermal 01/02/2018 at 19:20

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I’ll try making dough at some point but I bought the frozen stuff to get a jump start. I’m holding out hope for an acceptable cheese substitute.

Steve in Manhattan > Textured Soy Protein 01/02/2018 at 19:25

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Anything thin crust that I can pile toppings on I’ll make. For some reason, there are no good thin crust pizzas around here that I can get delivered. Actually, a Paul Newman makes a good base pizza.

Little Black Coupe Turned Silver > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 01/02/2018 at 19:33

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I always liked Trader Joe’s. I think they had a normal and a herb version. Both were good.

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Little Black Coupe Turned Silver 01/02/2018 at 20:05

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Shit, I forgot about Trader Joes. I need to start going there for some stuff anyways. I have just been going to Ralphs but that store is worth going to for a few items.

Textured Soy Protein > gin-san - shitpost specialist 01/02/2018 at 20:09

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Yes, from a culinary perspective, vegan cheese, at least the kinds I’ve tried so far, is mediocre at best.

But I choose not to eat dairy because I object to the ethics of the dairy industry. It is not something I need to man the fuck up about.

I try not to be That Guy and preach about this shit, but remarks like yours are EXACTLY what creates preachy vegans. So maybe you should man the fuck up about that.

Textured Soy Protein > Steve in Manhattan 01/02/2018 at 20:13

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My wife was all like, “is this going to be any better than frozen pizza?” I looked at her like this.

Little Black Coupe Turned Silver > Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) 01/02/2018 at 20:29

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It’s in the refrigerated section, near the pasta. Be sure to get it out the bag before letting it warm up, or it gets sticky. I think you’re suppose to like let it sit and kneed it and junk, but we always just let it get a little warm and then smushed it out.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > Textured Soy Protein 01/03/2018 at 12:25

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Pizza stone is crucial for good homemade pizza. Also making dough and sauce at home makes a world of a difference. For a quick easy dough we usually go with the Bobby Flay recipe – super easy and great results. America’s Test Kitchen has a super easy sauce recipe you just use canned tomatoes for, and we throw in a couple of additional spices into the blender, takes all of 2 minutes– just way better than anything we’ve found out of a jar.

Oh, and don’t roll the dough. Stretch/throw it with your hands as much as possible so you don’t just flatten out all the air bubbles that develop in the dough and lose all that beautiful rise.

Textured Soy Protein > ZHP Sparky, the 5th 01/03/2018 at 12:43

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I didn’t roll the dough, I stretched/kneaded it on the board. Next time I’ll have to try a little tossing to get it thinner, now that I know how much it rises.

There are many crappy tomato sauce products out there but my primary supermarket (Woodman’s) has several good local brands with only real ingredients and low salt levels. So I’m not above using those as a convenience option.

They were out of frozen pizza dough so I went to HyVee which is right by my gym and generally a fancier more expensive store than Woodman’s, but Woodman’s has a much better hippie-friendly/gourmet packaged good selection.

I make lots of stuff from scratch and would certainly do pizza fully from scratch at some point, but there’s something to be said for the convenience-to-quality ratio of frozen dough on a stone.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > Textured Soy Protein 01/03/2018 at 13:11

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Oh I’m sure, and especially if you’ve found a frozen dough that is legit there’s so much convenience in not having to mix it all up and play the waiting game. It’s a simple enough product that there can’t be a million variations in outside of ratios of the basics – so if it works it works. Thankfully my wife is an amazing baker and just instinctively makes all dough-type stuff at home, if it were just me I’d probably be trying out various pre-made options to find the best one too.

Are you going dairy-free for health/dietary reasons or just for fun? Especially being in WI I’d imagine there are a million great cheese choices. Out here in Oregon I’ve noticed a huge difference between the local favorite Tillamook mozzarella and all the other stuff at the store, night and day when it comes to flavor and meltiness. Haven’t ventured into the world of cheese substitutes outside of a few cashew spreads (which were actually delicious) instead of cream cheese.

Textured Soy Protein > ZHP Sparky, the 5th 01/03/2018 at 13:20

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I’m ditching dairy for ethical reasons. Originally my plan was to ditch meat and only get eggs and dairy from sources that document how exactly they treat the animals nicely. But the more I read about the egg and dairy industries, even the “humane” farms, the less I liked their breeding practices. I’ll spare you the details of that so as to not be a preachy vegan.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > Textured Soy Protein 01/03/2018 at 13:43

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Hey, I salute your decision. We try to eat vegetarian as much as possible and now get all of our eggs from our coop in the backyard (if possible, chickens are ridiculously easy and fun to have – highly recommended!). Meat and dairy we buy from the hippie dippie sources as much as possible, but I’m sure if we were to dig further into it we’ll find a lot we don’t like about it as well (especially when it comes to the milk, easy enough to get meat from local small farms at least).

My in-laws decision of moving to a rural area and raising all their animals when my wife was a kid makes a lot of sense, but pretty impractical for us to replicate at this point given our careers and where we live beyond just the chickens for eggs.